The reason I am resilient in the face of adversity

It's hard to believe now that there was a time when my life was in danger.


Even complaining about how nothing good happened was a luxury.


That everyday life, which could be described as unfair,

was snatched away in an instant by the overwhelming adversity I faced during my student days.


The battle that suddenly and quietly appeared in the cracks of my daily life

brought me extreme tension.


The physical reactions of that time remain etched in my memory.


Times have changed, and I feel liberated from that state of combat.


Above all, being able to live a normal life was the greatest joy.


Finally, the danger to my life receded.


That lingering feeling swung in the opposite direction of death, transforming into ecstasy.


The rest of a soldier who has returned to everyday life.


In a sense, it was a valuable experience.


Perhaps I should now be grateful for it as a precious blessing.


Ukraine, Russia, Palestine, Iran


I too had an experience that allowed me to internally imagine the experiences of modern combatants facing death...

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An attempt at autobiography: from childhood to adolescence（１）

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In writing my autobiography, I have decided not to shy away from the dark reality of my own life, but to confront it head-on. Looking back, I must admit that my childhood and adolescence were extremely lonely. My father worked on Sundays, so he rarely took me out. In junior high, I became friends with a classmate named U. He felt sorry for me for not going anywhere, so he took me to his relatives in Ikoma during summer vacation. During elementary school, I went on "field trips" alone to the children's park or a small hill in the suburbs. Even during New Year's, the house was always gloomy, and I remember being trapped in a cold room, snowbound, and enduring the long winter ahead. On the rare occasions when I was taken to a department store, I was happy to receive Abekawa mochi (rice cakes) to eat when I returned home. The siblings next house each had their own celebrations for Hinamatsuri and Tango no Sekku , but my brothers had none. The toy gun I begged for was a w...
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hold on memories of A

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 Miss A lived in a world different from the world I had lived in until then. At first she looked like a very well-bred young lady, but she wasn't from a very wealthy family. Being an only child, she must have been taken care of. As a toddler, she was sent to classes to learn to play the violin, but it didn't seem to last long. In the beginning, there was little conversation. We used to go home together after school because we were going in the same direction, but I can't remember what I was talking about. Perhaps she wanted to make sure I was human being, since I never said anything vulgar.I remember being surprised when she suddenly retorted that she couldn't imagine you peeing. No girl had ever said that before. Miss A was a girl who uttered words from her own delusion. I wondered if the delusion in Miss A and my mind at that time had the same part somewhere.It would have been interesting if I could have asked the question whether we had same kind of illusion. I just ...
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When I was suffering from a sense of emptiness after retirement

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 As dawn breaks, I begin spending some time alone in the dimly lit room. Filled with time alone, even the simple routine of boiling water and making coffee feels exciting. Reading the newspaper or turning on the TV would ruin it. Being completely cut off from the outside world is a freedom. I loved the feeling of being enveloped in the room, neither cold nor hot, my body temperature and the air blending together. I briefly picture the lively morning atmosphere in Ulysses's "Tower," and mutter to myself that my wife is asleep, just like Molly. Listening carefully, I can hear the faint chirping of birds through the window. Morning hasn't yet begun. The children will soon be passing by my house on their way to school. Mr. Y's house, diagonally behind me, leaves early in the morning. My wife listens to the sound of their car in her slumber, but makes no attempt to wake up. It seems that slumbering is the best time for her. I woke up, got out of bed, and lingered in my...
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