My way out of nihilism

 I've lived for 72 years and now I'm here. I wonder what I think about my life. I think the results of my long career as a salaryman are evident anyway. Since the fall of last year, my tennis buddy, K, who is the same age as me, has been taking time off due to poor health. He has apparently stopped playing tennis, golf, and skiing, which he loves. He seems to be depressed, and his wife says he has no appetite, insomnia, and worsening asthma. He stays at home watching Korean movies.

He was a confident man who had risen to the executive ranks, and those around him, including myself, tended to avoid looking down on him. He has begun to feel anxious about driving, and it seems he has sold his beloved Volvo. This has only made him even more withdrawn.

I wasn't close enough to him to give him my opinion, and I know he's not the type to accept it, so I think I just have to keep my distance. It seems my other tennis buddies are doing the same. I feel bad for him, but I hope he can pull himself together and get better.

Now, I've unintentionally vented my concerns, but I wanted to talk about something more philosophical about life. I'm thinking about the lack of purpose in life, or in other words, about escaping nihilism, and questions like how isolated, fragmented individuals can create a community where they can help each other. It's no longer possible to live a life where it's enough if only I'm happy. I've written many times on this blog about how lonely it is to be prepared to just read a book in solitude.

When people of a generation slightly older than me were in their youth, there were trusted figures known as intellectuals. Take Sartre, for example. Sartre's method of escaping nihilism was to practice engagement in the situation. Engagement means being involved, or a state of ecstasy. Most engagement involved political participation.

Today, there are no such great intellectuals. We don't know what to rely on. So what do we do? Perhaps the only option is to become a small intellectual and live a small life. Responding to those around me with care and warmth. That's my method of escaping nihilism.



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